As an esteemed MBA student at the University of Utah, I am now a rabid fan of all athletics that are associated with the university. Here is what I think will happen to the football team this year.
August 30 at Oregon State. Before the game, the team suffers a setback when the "Countdown to BYU Game" clock--yes, they even take it with them on road trips--tips over and lands on the knee of superstar safety Steve Tate. "Mark my words," Tate says in a hospital press conference a week later after major reconstructive knee surgery. "I'll be back for the game against the Team Down South."
As for the game itself, the Ute offense looks glossy. The Six Pack lights up the scoreboard early and often to take a 21-10 halftime lead. However, Kyle Whittingham inserts backup quarterback Tommy Grady to start the third quarter, and with 11:20 left in the third quarter, Oregon State holds a 24-21 lead. Grady's line: 0-for-2, -16 rushing yards, 2 INT, 1 lost fumble. Thousands of Ute fans pray that Brian Johnson never gets hurt.
Luckily for Ute fans, their heady coach puts Johnson back in the game, and order is restored. It takes a late 65-yard touchdown run by phenom running back Matt Asiata, but the Utes win the game 38-32.
September 8 vs. Air Force. Before the game, good news arrives for the Utes. Marty Johnson--former running back who still has eligibility--returns to the team to shore up the backfield. "He is an incredible addition," states Whittingham. "With Mart, Asiata, Mack, and Post, we probably have the greatest backfield that I could dream of."
Johnson makes his return with an emphatic 3-yard run up the middle, but in the process tears his ACL and is lost for the year. But Asiata fills in with an admirable line of 15 carries for 38 yards on the day.
Utah wins the game 28-17.
September 15 vs. UCLA. The MUSS comes out in full support for this game, clad in pirate gear. "Arrrr matey!" exclaims one tailgater. "The Bruins be on the plank, abouts to meet the locker of Davey Jones. Ayy!" "Squawk! Davey Jones! Squawk!" exclaims another tailgater, clad in a parrot costume.
Indeed, the nation's eye is on this game, as Heisman candidate Ben Olson trots onto the field for the undefeated UCLA Bruins. Olson does his part in keeping the Bruins ahead, throwing for six touchdown passes in the first half alone.
Sadly, fans go home in disappointment as the Utes coast to a 52-28 defeat. To make matters worse, Matt Asiata is out for the season with a broken leg.
September 22 at UNLV. No surprises this game, as Utah hands the lowly rebels a good old beatdown. Heisman candidate Brent Casteel leads the way with 9 receptions for 230 yards.
Good news also comes down after the game when Coach Whittingham announces that the Utes suffered no season-ending injuries that game. The resultant "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas" celebration, however, results in wide receivers Casteel and Brian Hernandez getting arrested and suffering one-game suspensions.
Final score of this one: Utah 38-6.
September 29 vs. Utah State. This game--played in front of a less-than-standing-room-only audience--goes down in the annals of history as The Most Boring Game Ever. With Utah struggling to move the ball, and the aggies just fumbling all over the place, the game features 25 punts, and not once does an
offense move the ball inside the other team's 40-yard line. It also features 20 penalties, a rain delay, six instant replay stoppages, a slew of incomplete passes, lackluster cheerleading, very little smack talk between fan bases, and a sloppy marching band performance. Not even Swoop manages to get the crowd too excited.
Luckily for the Utes, they have a good kicker. Louie Sakoda kicks in a pair of 56-yard field goals for a 6-0 victory.
October 5 at Louisville. Before the game, wide receivers Brent Casteel and Brian Hernandez apologize to fans, family, friends, teammates, coaches, equipment managers, community, alumni, students, community leaders, LVPD, and--most importantly--to their own mothers for their disorderly conduct after their victory over UNLV. "I'm glad to be back, though," states Hernandez. "I've had my eye on this game against Louisville all season long. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Kentucky has some great fried chicken."
Looking to put last week's poor performance behind them, Johnson and the rest of the Six Pack rush out to a surprising 17-0 lead. Their lead eventually increases to 24 points, but the cardinals storm back in the fourth quarter due to some suspect officiating.
But Sakoda saves the day again when he kicks in a 43-yard field goal as time expires to give the Utes an eye-opening 34-33 road victory.
October 13 vs. San Diego St. Now on an emotional high after dismantling previously unbeaten Louisville, the Utes enter the field to a polite standing ovation from the Ute faithful. Taking one another by the hand and forming a long line across the field, the players take a deep bow to the applause. Cheers of "Bravo!" emanate through the stands.
The aztecs are no match for the Utes on the field. The Six Pack rolls up huge numbers, and it gets so bad that backup quarterback Tommy Grady sees action, throwing only one interception. He even helps out by fumbling the ball into the end zone, where it is recovered by Braden Godfrey for a touchdown. Utah wins it 56-17.
October 18 at TCU. This Thursday night special has the attention of the entire sporting nation as the Utes look to upend the horned frogs' national championship quest. Swoop is in fine form before the game, throwing Utah "Good Investment" t-shirts into the crowd to a chorus of boos from the Christian faithful.
The Utes' luck runs out on the field, however, as the TCU defense stifles them. Star running back Daryl Poston--who up to this point in the season has garnered 120 yards rushing--is injured for the season, and Brian Johnson uncharacteristically tosses three interceptions in the losing effort.
TCU continues their quest to the National Championship Game with a 31-21 victory over the Utes.
October 27 at Colorado St. The Utes look mysteriously befuddled throughout this game, and when Brian Johnson goes down with a foot injury, things look especially bleak. Rams running back Kyle Bell rumbles for 231 yards rushing, and CSU puts Utah on a two-game losing streak, winning the game 24-17.
November 10 vs. Wyoming. During their bye week, the Utes re-set their focus on finishing strong. "Last year we lost to Wyoming, New Mexico, and BYU," states coaching phenom Kyle Whittingham. "Those are our last three opponents here, and we want to finish this out strong."
Brent Casteel looks like the Heisman contender that he is, with an early 79-yard reception (finishing with 201 yards total receiving), and the Utes cruise to an otherwise boring victory, 33-13.
November 17 vs. New Mexico. The lobos catch Utah looking ahead to the next week's matchup, and take a 21-10 lead at halftime. But mastermind offensive coordinator Andy Ludwig makes a few tweaks on the offensive side of the ball, and things start rollin' for the runnin' Utes.
Brian Johnson rushes for 131 yards, and Daryl Mack carries it for 2 yards more (133 yards combined in the second half), and Johnson passes for an additional 340 yards in a dominating comeback victory. Utah wins the game 44-24.
November 24 at BYU. This prediction can only come right before the game. I am sorry. Suffice it to say, I am going to predict BYU to win and you all know that's what I'm going to say, no matter what happens between now and then. So Utah finishes the season at 8-4, where they are invited to the San Francisco Bowl, where they'll beat Houston 41-40 in overtime.
August 30 at Oregon State. Before the game, the team suffers a setback when the "Countdown to BYU Game" clock--yes, they even take it with them on road trips--tips over and lands on the knee of superstar safety Steve Tate. "Mark my words," Tate says in a hospital press conference a week later after major reconstructive knee surgery. "I'll be back for the game against the Team Down South."
As for the game itself, the Ute offense looks glossy. The Six Pack lights up the scoreboard early and often to take a 21-10 halftime lead. However, Kyle Whittingham inserts backup quarterback Tommy Grady to start the third quarter, and with 11:20 left in the third quarter, Oregon State holds a 24-21 lead. Grady's line: 0-for-2, -16 rushing yards, 2 INT, 1 lost fumble. Thousands of Ute fans pray that Brian Johnson never gets hurt.
Luckily for Ute fans, their heady coach puts Johnson back in the game, and order is restored. It takes a late 65-yard touchdown run by phenom running back Matt Asiata, but the Utes win the game 38-32.
September 8 vs. Air Force. Before the game, good news arrives for the Utes. Marty Johnson--former running back who still has eligibility--returns to the team to shore up the backfield. "He is an incredible addition," states Whittingham. "With Mart, Asiata, Mack, and Post, we probably have the greatest backfield that I could dream of."
Johnson makes his return with an emphatic 3-yard run up the middle, but in the process tears his ACL and is lost for the year. But Asiata fills in with an admirable line of 15 carries for 38 yards on the day.
Utah wins the game 28-17.
September 15 vs. UCLA. The MUSS comes out in full support for this game, clad in pirate gear. "Arrrr matey!" exclaims one tailgater. "The Bruins be on the plank, abouts to meet the locker of Davey Jones. Ayy!" "Squawk! Davey Jones! Squawk!" exclaims another tailgater, clad in a parrot costume.
Indeed, the nation's eye is on this game, as Heisman candidate Ben Olson trots onto the field for the undefeated UCLA Bruins. Olson does his part in keeping the Bruins ahead, throwing for six touchdown passes in the first half alone.
Sadly, fans go home in disappointment as the Utes coast to a 52-28 defeat. To make matters worse, Matt Asiata is out for the season with a broken leg.
September 22 at UNLV. No surprises this game, as Utah hands the lowly rebels a good old beatdown. Heisman candidate Brent Casteel leads the way with 9 receptions for 230 yards.
Good news also comes down after the game when Coach Whittingham announces that the Utes suffered no season-ending injuries that game. The resultant "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas" celebration, however, results in wide receivers Casteel and Brian Hernandez getting arrested and suffering one-game suspensions.
Final score of this one: Utah 38-6.
September 29 vs. Utah State. This game--played in front of a less-than-standing-room-only audience--goes down in the annals of history as The Most Boring Game Ever. With Utah struggling to move the ball, and the aggies just fumbling all over the place, the game features 25 punts, and not once does an
offense move the ball inside the other team's 40-yard line. It also features 20 penalties, a rain delay, six instant replay stoppages, a slew of incomplete passes, lackluster cheerleading, very little smack talk between fan bases, and a sloppy marching band performance. Not even Swoop manages to get the crowd too excited.Luckily for the Utes, they have a good kicker. Louie Sakoda kicks in a pair of 56-yard field goals for a 6-0 victory.
October 5 at Louisville. Before the game, wide receivers Brent Casteel and Brian Hernandez apologize to fans, family, friends, teammates, coaches, equipment managers, community, alumni, students, community leaders, LVPD, and--most importantly--to their own mothers for their disorderly conduct after their victory over UNLV. "I'm glad to be back, though," states Hernandez. "I've had my eye on this game against Louisville all season long. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Kentucky has some great fried chicken."
Looking to put last week's poor performance behind them, Johnson and the rest of the Six Pack rush out to a surprising 17-0 lead. Their lead eventually increases to 24 points, but the cardinals storm back in the fourth quarter due to some suspect officiating.
But Sakoda saves the day again when he kicks in a 43-yard field goal as time expires to give the Utes an eye-opening 34-33 road victory.
October 13 vs. San Diego St. Now on an emotional high after dismantling previously unbeaten Louisville, the Utes enter the field to a polite standing ovation from the Ute faithful. Taking one another by the hand and forming a long line across the field, the players take a deep bow to the applause. Cheers of "Bravo!" emanate through the stands.
The aztecs are no match for the Utes on the field. The Six Pack rolls up huge numbers, and it gets so bad that backup quarterback Tommy Grady sees action, throwing only one interception. He even helps out by fumbling the ball into the end zone, where it is recovered by Braden Godfrey for a touchdown. Utah wins it 56-17.
October 18 at TCU. This Thursday night special has the attention of the entire sporting nation as the Utes look to upend the horned frogs' national championship quest. Swoop is in fine form before the game, throwing Utah "Good Investment" t-shirts into the crowd to a chorus of boos from the Christian faithful.
The Utes' luck runs out on the field, however, as the TCU defense stifles them. Star running back Daryl Poston--who up to this point in the season has garnered 120 yards rushing--is injured for the season, and Brian Johnson uncharacteristically tosses three interceptions in the losing effort.
TCU continues their quest to the National Championship Game with a 31-21 victory over the Utes.
October 27 at Colorado St. The Utes look mysteriously befuddled throughout this game, and when Brian Johnson goes down with a foot injury, things look especially bleak. Rams running back Kyle Bell rumbles for 231 yards rushing, and CSU puts Utah on a two-game losing streak, winning the game 24-17.
November 10 vs. Wyoming. During their bye week, the Utes re-set their focus on finishing strong. "Last year we lost to Wyoming, New Mexico, and BYU," states coaching phenom Kyle Whittingham. "Those are our last three opponents here, and we want to finish this out strong."
Brent Casteel looks like the Heisman contender that he is, with an early 79-yard reception (finishing with 201 yards total receiving), and the Utes cruise to an otherwise boring victory, 33-13.
November 17 vs. New Mexico. The lobos catch Utah looking ahead to the next week's matchup, and take a 21-10 lead at halftime. But mastermind offensive coordinator Andy Ludwig makes a few tweaks on the offensive side of the ball, and things start rollin' for the runnin' Utes.
Brian Johnson rushes for 131 yards, and Daryl Mack carries it for 2 yards more (133 yards combined in the second half), and Johnson passes for an additional 340 yards in a dominating comeback victory. Utah wins the game 44-24.
November 24 at BYU. This prediction can only come right before the game. I am sorry. Suffice it to say, I am going to predict BYU to win and you all know that's what I'm going to say, no matter what happens between now and then. So Utah finishes the season at 8-4, where they are invited to the San Francisco Bowl, where they'll beat Houston 41-40 in overtime.
1 comment:
I don't know how people can take the Joe Rankings seriously when you post this. We all know that BJ and Casteel will be one and two when it comes down to the Heisman. It will be the first time that a Heisman winner has played for a losing team.
Post a Comment