More Predictions

BYU v. Northern Iowa
August 30, 2008
4:00 pm

Pregame Notes:
BYU enters the season ranked #26 by The Joe Rankings, but they are looking to move up with a big victory over fierce rival Northern Iowa. “Some individuals are not correctly estimating our opponents this afternoon,” remarks cougar head coach Bronco Mendenhall. “But we are fully invested in our program. We are on a quest for perfection. Individual position mastery is the key, and we are aiming for a high level of execution, both on and off the football field. I will personally not be satisfied with merely a mediocre performance this afternoon. I am expecting full investment by each individual.”

The pre-game prayer is offered by Church President (and noted cougar fan) Thomas S. Monson, and the captains take the field for the coin toss. The Panthers of Northern Iowa win the toss and break out into a wild celebration by stomping on the Y at midfield and shushing the crowd. They elect to receive the kickoff, and the teams take their positions.

First quarter:
BYU freshman sensation Justin Sorensen shanks the opening kick out of bounds, and the Panthers start out at their own 35 yard line. After two sacks by Jan Jorgensen and another by Vic So’oto, the Panthers are forced to punt.

BYU eats up six minutes on their first drive, but are unable to punch it into the end zone. Mitch Payne’s 14-yard field goal is true, and the cougars take an early 3-0 lead. The cheerleaders delight the crowd by doing three pushups.

On the panthers’ next play from the line of scrimmage, their quarterback is flushed out of the pocket but somehow scrambles around and stays on his feet, breaking three different tackles. In desperation, he hurls the ball into the air, which is caught for a 79-yard touchdown! Fans begin to get nervous as they sense another Appalachian State upset about to happen. Northern Iowa 7, BYU 3.

BYU slowly drives down the field again, but with 4:03 left in the quarter, Harvey Unga fumbles the ball inside the five yard line, and it is recovered by the panthers. With :16 seconds to go, Northern Iowa pounds the ball into the end zone for a 14-3 lead, which is the score after one quarter of play.

Second quarter:
After five plays to begin the next frame, BYU is forced to punt, and CJ Santiago shanks it sixteen yards, where the Panthers take over at the cougar 45 yard line. Six plays later, another Panther touchdown is recorded on a 35-yard launch into the corner of the end zone that is batted away by safety David Tafuna but miraculously lands on the stomach of a panther wide receiver that is lying on the ground. Northern Iowa leads 21-3.

Cougar quarterback Max Hall has had enough. On 2nd and 6, he gives the magic wink to Austin Collie and they connect on a 69-yard touchdown bomb! Interestingly, Mendenhall goes for two and they convert it on a Harvey Unga catch out of the backfield. Northern Iowa 21, BYU 11.

Clearly inspired, the cougar defense shows up on the next possession as linebacker David Nixon intercepts a pass at the 36-yard line. After three plays (including a 20-yard scamper by Unga), Hall connects with a wide open Dennis Pitta in the end zone to cut the panthers’ lead to 21-18.

After both offenses sputter, BYU takes the lead with :36 seconds to go on a Harvey Unga 23-yard reception out of the backfield, running untouched for a touchdown. Halftime Score: BYU 25, Northern Iowa 21.

Halftime:
The referees are traditionally booed as they walk into their locker room. The BYU Cougar Marching Band then pleases their attentive audience with a stunning medley of Indiana Jones songs. The performance is capped off by Cosmo entering the field to a thunderous applause, jumping out of the way of an inflatable boulder, snatching his hat just before the boulder is about to crush it, and then whipping some guy in a hawk costume. The fans are delirious after the magical display.

Towards the end of the halftime period, some poor student (bless his soul) wearing a Southwest Airlines airplane costume gets the crowd to do the wave.

Third Quarter:
BYU gets the ball first, and wastes no time tearing apart the Panther defense. It takes ten plays, but Max Hall completes all nine of his pass attempts, including the touchdown pass to freshman O’Neil Chambers from eight yards out. Chambers flexes his muscles, drawing a fifteen yard penalty, but nobody cares as the cougars take a 32-21 lead.

Things begin to get out of hand as BYU begins dominating. The panthers fumble at midfield, which is recovered by Brett Denney, and the cougars cash in on a Fui Vakapuna dive into the end zone (which was set up by a 38-yard pass to Collie). The panthers fumble the ensuing kickoff, and Unga pounds it into the end zone one play later from 14 yards out to take a commanding 46-21 lead.

With time winding down in the quarter, the cougars essentially seal the deal when a 61-yard bomb to Austin Collie is followed by a 6-yard touchdown run by Vakapuna to give BYU the 53-21 lead after three quarters of play.

Fourth Quarter:
BYU sends in Brendan Gaskins along with the second unit for the rest of the game, and they predictably struggle. But the backups on the other side of the ball hold firm, allowing only a 38-yard panther field goal.

The second unit finally hits paydirt, though, when JJ DiLuigi strings together several impressive runs, and the drive is capped off with 1:01 to go when Gaskins throws a 19-yard touchdown pass to Luke Ashworth.

Final score: BYU 60, Northern Iowa 24.

Aftermath:
BYU’s ranking plummets into the mid-fifties after one week in The Joe Rankings. Austin Collie is named player of the game (“Magic happens,” he tells Greg Wrubell).